"
Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show?
Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped into three
Elementary school classrooms for six weeks. Each business person will
be provided with a copy of his/her school district's curriculum, and a
class of 28 students. Each class will have five learning-disabled
children, three with A.D.D., one gifted child, and two who speak
limited English. Three will be labeled with severe behavior problems.
Each business person must complete lesson plans at least three days in
advance with annotations for curriculum objectives and modify,
organize, or create materials accordingly. They will be required to
teach students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document
attendance... Write referrals, correct homework, make bulletin boards,
compute grades, complete report cards... Document benchmarks,
communicate with parents, and arrange parent conferences, for
starters.
They must also supervise recess and monitor the hallways. In addition,
they will complete drills for fire, tornadoes, and shooting attacks.
They must attend 100 hours of workshops, faculty meetings, union
meetings, and curriculum development meetings.
They must also tutor those students who are behind and strive to get
their two non-English speaking children proficient enough to take the
SOL tests.
If they are sick or having a bad day, they must not let it show. Each
day they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science, and social
studies into their program. They must maintain discipline and provide
an educationally stimulating environment at all times.
The business people will only have access to the golf course on the
weekends, but on their new salary they will not be able to afford it
anyway. There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out
to lunch, and lunch will be limited to 30 minutes.
On days when they do not have recess duty, the business people will be
permitted to use the staff restroom as long as another survival
candidate is supervising their class.
They will be provided with two, 40-minute planning periods per week
while their students are at activity classes. If the copier is
operable, they may make copies of necessary materials at this time.
The business people must continually advance their own education on
their own time, and pay for this advanced training themselves. This
can be accomplished by moonlighting at a second job or marrying
someone with money.
The winner will be allowed to return to his or her former job."
Thank you Teachers.
